..and I too could be in this thing called LOVE..

When I didn’t know what love is, it was all about me.. I was depending only on myself nobody mattered to me. I was careless and carefree and living on the edge. Nobody to go back home to. No body to answer my phone for.. No texts to wait for.. Looking forward to nothing. it was just work home and work. Just all that i wanted to do. There was no thinking in what I was doing. Nothing to realise whether right or wrong. Nobody to cry to. Nobody to laugh with. Just wishing had that life when id see the much in love couples pass me by, wished for someone to share a cup of tea with me.. So much to dream of.. So much,, and then..

I met you for the first time.. I couldn’t look you straight in your eyes but at the same time i couldn’t take my eyes off you. May be I was losing my mind those things that people say and sing about when cupid strikes.. My instinct hinted.. maybe it was time, all those dreams were unfolding in front of my eyes for real.. I remember the first cup of tea we shared (that British tea people around me hated and for the first time someone actually liked it),, petty thing u might not even remember but it took my heart. Every time u cajoled me like a baby u took my heart and i was in love with you all over again. everything that you did was making me fall for you all over again sometimes it felt like it was just not enough to just feel that way, strange it cud ever happen to me, When u were around i couldn’t see anything else its like I was missing out on the entire world but u were already my world and it was you, the reason why i did something and why i wouldn’t do anything and that was enough. Wasn’t dreaming longing or wishing for nothing.. You were with me and i was blinded to see anything else at all. Five days the best days of my life.. Those were the dreamy days i call it that. I was living my dreams... I din want to fall asleep.. I was scared id miss you. Felt so right. Just perfect, and five days were over it was time for you to go,, wish that never happened. Because once again u would change my life and that is what I was scared of. U were a different person in real and totally different on the phone,, sometimes I felt there are actually 2 different people that i know.

Here we are 15 days ..gone I sit by myself with cups of tea, just looking at my phone waiting for a call may be or a text hoping you would drop by saying u re missing me or may be u want to hear my voice .My dream world is now the house of doubts, suspicion, negativity and misconceptions. I am now just the opposite of something I never was, losing my sleep for my one and only.. They say don’t worry but that’s all I really do.. Every time my phone beeps I wish its u n then I feel this sharp pain cause I don’t see your name on my screen or cause u have something not good to say ... and this is all Have to say to you “ I have never loved cared and felt complete before. never lost my sleep for someone, never felt heavy in the mornings cause of someone, never felt so strong that i can’t eat cause we have had a fight, never felt like I was losing my life without someone, none has ever been the reason for my tears and smile, never liked n disliked things according to someone else, no ones ever been on my mind 24*7 never sat in one corner of the house just looking at my phone so much happened for the first time. And this place wasn’t anyone else’s ever.. All yours now.”
So much so this might feel like a movie scene to some but i would have never been able to realise my dreams and my feelings.. if it didn’t strike me for real. And a lesson learnt.. Thanks to my BABY LOVE. Who i hope one day will see that he was above all and meant a lot to me.